I love eBay. A few years ago, $500 was all it took for one lucky man to buy a date with Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake. Now, for a mere $7,000, you can win a lunch with Jerry Sloan! I'm all a tingle!
Lunch with this guy for only $7K?! What a bargain!!
Don't get me wrong. I love Jerry Sloan. He's a great and vastly underrated coach. But seriously, can you imagine a more boring lunch? Sloan ranks somewhere between Ben Stein and belly button lint on the Excito-meter. I know he coached John Stockton and Karl Malone for 40 years, but the most exciting thing either of those two guys ever did was when Malone made out with Luke Walton...and by that time Karl was a Laker. (And, for the record, I'm convinced that wouldn't have happened if Sloan had still been coaching Malone. The Lakers ruined Karl Malone. End of story.)
The bright side is that the money will go to a good cause: it will be donated to the Hand-In-Hand Foundation, which Sloan founded after his wife passed away from Breast Cancer. So even while you're nodding off as Sloan explains the 1,952 ways to run a pick and roll, your money just will be saving lives. But not your lunch.
Jerry Sloan...exciting.
Don't get me wrong. I love Jerry Sloan. He's a great and vastly underrated coach. But seriously, can you imagine a more boring lunch? Sloan ranks somewhere between Ben Stein and belly button lint on the Excito-meter. I know he coached John Stockton and Karl Malone for 40 years, but the most exciting thing either of those two guys ever did was when Malone made out with Luke Walton...and by that time Karl was a Laker. (And, for the record, I'm convinced that wouldn't have happened if Sloan had still been coaching Malone. The Lakers ruined Karl Malone. End of story.)
The bright side is that the money will go to a good cause: it will be donated to the Hand-In-Hand Foundation, which Sloan founded after his wife passed away from Breast Cancer. So even while you're nodding off as Sloan explains the 1,952 ways to run a pick and roll, your money just will be saving lives. But not your lunch.
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Of course Sloan coached Malone and Stockton for only 19 years. That's the cornerstone of this blog: irony. You get it? No? Well, maybe you should read something else. Something more straight forward. With no irony at all. Maybe a manuscript of a George W. Bush speech. Yeah. That would fit ...