Editor's note: I will be updating the list this weekend. Feel free to continue submitting ideas.
Loyal reader stephanie g invented this brilliant (but rather dangerous) game, the rules of which are described below. However, I must include a note of caution from the author herself: "I really don't recommend playing it though, you'd be in a coma by half time." Or by the end of the second quarter...whichever comes first. Now, onto the rules:
Take a shot if he says something along the lines of:
"He's a winner."
"He just gets it done."
"When his number is called he's ready."
"They just gotta come out and compete."
"Just because [Player A] is better than [Player B] doesn't mean he can't come out and outplay him."
"...and it's not even close."
"Momma, there goes that man."
"Excuse me, I have a meeting with the rim!"
"You're better than that!"
"GOTCHA!"
"Allen Iverson, pound for pound, is the best player in the game."
"Don't take your frustration out on the refs, take it out on the rim!"
"Come get in my poster!"
"NOT ON MY WATCH!"
"That's a grown man move right there."
"He's a knockdown shooter."
"The best player has to set the tone for this team."
"When his number is called he's ready."
"...if you come out and compete anything can happen."
Down the entire bottle if he says:
"Kobe Bryant is the best player on the planet."
Labels: binge drinking, broadcasting, drinking games, fan submissions, Mark Jackson
43 Comments:
Word of the Day
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Let me use the quarter I won by beating you to cal...
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One more quote might push it into the realm of permanent brain damage.
"(insert player) with a (insert shot type e.g. hook/elbow jumper etc)... WON'T GO!"
Seriously. He says "Won't go!" like 80 time every game.
"Time and time again"
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Take a drink for every post-up that lasted for more than 10 seconds. Finish your drink if he takes a 20-second backdown.
How about a shot anytime Hubie mispronounces someone's name or says or they gotta get so-and-so going
Or Breen with its good! or bang! or banks it in! or what a move by
Really how hard it is to find fresher things to say? Even the local guys who cover the same team all season are nowhere near as stale as these guys.
Have I said this before? Oh well, here goes- Kevin Calabrow fucking RULES. He never uses stale cliches and at times makes the game sound much more interesting than it actually is. And he has done this alongside the worst color-commentators in the history of basketball such as Craig Ehlo and Lenny Wilkins.
KC FTW
That is all. Good day to you all.
"...force/ing the issue" isn't included?
I think I heard Hubie say EXACTLY what you said the other night. (Now here's a guy who YOU KNOW is going to give you 10.5pts and 6.3rebs/night!)
My favorite is just the fact that he ALWAYS speaks in the second person, as if I am playing/coaching for an NBA team.
HUBIE! BROWN!! (/a la Matt Damon)
Breen also likes to remind you what the point differential is every 10 seconds:
"And all of a sudden, it's an X point game!"
"X point game!"
"and the lead is back up to X!"
Maddening.
I hope this still shows up on the link and they didn't update it, but when did Lebron start coming off the bench? The great thing is that Mike Brown decided to start 2 centers instead, deciding to start joe smith for a second center over Lebron, wierd considering that Lebron played from the opening tip on. Good call ESPN.
I have recurring nightmares of a very obvious no-call twelve step travel by Lebron during the replay of which Jackson screamed the very phrase that already haunts my soul. It's, like, turrrble.
P.S. Did anyone else noticed that LeBron became another powerful force in Duncan-Face Army? Or is it just me...
Jordan Hill (Arizona) unintentionally dirty man love quote machine: (regarding Utah's Luke Nevill) "He’s real long, real big — way bigger than me"
there is epic man love in this picture. i'm speechless.
drink every time he says:
posting and toasting
swishing and dishing
the swiss-cheese D
matador D
the precocious neophyte
X with the 'good stuff'
suggestions are highly encouraged
"That's just inexcusable."
"That's just solid basketball."
"That's just fundamental basketball."
"...getting it done on the defensive end."
"The ability to finish..."
"...that's trusting your ability."
"...offensively/defensively."
"If I'm [insert coach name], I'm..."
Mike Breen:
"[INSERT PLAYER LAST NAME]!"
"THAT'S good!"
"NICE move!"
"PRETTY move!
"NICE pass!"
"INSIDE!"
"KNOCKS it down!"
"THROWS it down!"
"BANKS it in!"
"COUNT the basket!"
"AND one!"
"WON'T go!"
"It's BLOCKED!"
HAND DOWN, MAN DOWN
MOMMA THERE GOES THAT MAN
THAT'S JUST A GROWN MAN DOIN' WORK
And a classic from last year's playoffs (in reference to Pau Gasol):
BOOM BOOM PAU!
HAND DOWN, MAN DOWN.
HAND DOWN, MAN DOWN.
and "You reach I teach!"